Blogs have finally reached that point where they are practically a staple in our daily internet cruising. With such diversity available, blogs end up serving many different purposes. Whether you’re surfing the extensive repertoire of blogs for fashion, celebrity gossip, sports, or metaphysical enlightenment, the basic goal of any good blog is to inform and entertain.
But with blogs being free and easy to set up, there are sure to be many that fail to meet this simple goal. Today we salute some of the most atrociously awful blogs. In fact, these blogs don’t just fail—they represent the absolute dregs of the blogosphere.
Jack in the Box has always had slightly different advertising tactics (why exactly is their mascot a half man/half antenna ball, and why isn’t that feat of genetic science being studied?) But their blog takes the talking car accessory a bit too seriously. In fact, this forum is supposed to be the official MySpace page of one “Jack Box.” Displaying fabricated interests, place of birth, and children (you guessed it, Jack Jr.), I can’t help but feeling bad for the intern who had to spend an afternoon coming up with these inane pieces of fake trivia.
Worst Celebrity Blog
Sure. We knew Kim Kardashian wouldn’t be winning any awards for her masterful use of the English language, but her blog takes it a bit too far. Admittedly, I put this blog on the list knowing full well my bias towards Kardashian, having just recently described her brand of self-indulgence as narcissism on crack. Regardless, her excessive and quite frankly enraging use of exclamation points has prompted this blog writer to demonstrate the appropriate use of the punctuation: Kim Kardashian has single-handedly earned the title of worst celebrity blog ever!!!
Blogs are a great place for people who don’t normally have a platform to share their thoughts, but I’m not sure if the world needs to hear about the fictitious perils of Pat O’Neil. His duels with ninjas, robots, and genetically mutated animals of all shapes and sizes quickly grow boring. Rather than feeling like the absurd ramblings of the very funny and very clever Douglas Adams, they feel more like the absurd ramblings of someone who stumbled upon a half pack of acid and a keyboard. And does anyone else think the fictitious Pat O’Neil looks like “Old Man Marley” from Home Alone?
There are a lot of strange blogs out there, but the Pepsi-KFC blog rivals all other title contenders for the most confusing, nonsensical, and downright confusing blog out there. Unless I’m missing some bigger joke at play here, some guy decided his love of Pepsi and KFC was enough to spawn a series of emoti-con riddled posts about nothing. And not the good, Jerry Seinfeld kind of nothing.
If you’re at all interested in clever or useful posts, my only advice would be to avoid these blogs at all costs. Block them from your computer—and save everyone a lot of time and exasperated temple-rubbing.